You know, last week I thought my husband had outdone himself. I was very sure (and still am, natch) that my spouse is the best. I don't want to hurt your feelings or be the cause of any envy in your life, but in the history of husbands in the universe, I got the best one.
The birthday surprises he pulled off - without me suspecting a thing - made me feel like the queen of everything. So at the cooking party when he hugged me and whispered in my ear,
"No more surprises, OK?"
. . . I fervently agreed. He had pulled off the surprises of the century both with the cooking party and getting my mom and sister here without me knowing. Amazing.
Last weekend Melissa and I went to Madras, Oregon to watch a sprint triathlon (or, as we elite athletes call it, a "tri" or a sprint). Davi and Amy - two members of the Chicks - were competing in it. Keep in mind I did not do it (I know - it's a shocker), I just went along to cheer.
I found out Davi and Amy were training for this sprint when we were training for Portland to Coast. I just naturally thought their families would go along to watch and cheer, but no - they were going by themselves.
Whaaaaa . . .?
How can you do something as cool as a triathlon all by yourself? It's HUGE. It's the culmination of months of training and hard work. It was beyond obvious they needed a cheering section. At that point, Melissa and I nominated ourselves as the fan club. We became their "people". When you're an elite athlete you need an entourage, you know.
I can't do tri's but I can do entourage.
Besides, someone needed to take pictures.
Amy and Davi, you guys ROCK. You are STUDS and I'm so proud of you!
Melissa and I just wore cute earrings and watched the event. When you're the entourage it's important to be well-accessorized. You also have to wear black pants. You can't wear shorts unless you do the tri because . . .
. . . these marks are on your legs and let me tell you, it's like wearing an Olympic medal, people. Next year I'm going to bring a Sharpie and write on my legs so everyone will think I did it too.
The numbers can blend right in with my varicose veins.
So, back to the story . . . we finished up in Madras and drove home, stopping to shop on the way back. I was feeling a bit guilty about being gone. I mean, the last couple of weekends have been all about me - Portland to Coast, my birthday weekend and all those happenings - I felt like I hadn't had a weekend with the family for a looooooong time. I kept calling Duane and giving him updates like,
"Hey Honey, we're back in Portland and we stopped to shop in the airport shopping center. I'm trying on shoes at DSW. I shouldn't be long, I'm trying to hurry the other girls along."
And what did Duane say?
"Don't worry about it. You should check out IKEA while you're there."
Um, huh? Check out IKEA? Did those words come out of my husband's mouth? I've never been to our local IKEA but from what I understand, it takes, like, all day to do IKEA. Apparently, my family was doing fine without me. So, I felt slightly less guilty but was still ready for home.
When we got home I tried to get in through the garage but it was locked. Weird. So the four of us hiked around to the front and as the front door opened . . . .
Karenpie, what ARE you looking at?
Friends yelling, "Surprise!"
Duane had to come outside and get me. I was standing in confusion, thinking, "I didn't know Nathan and Colleen knew the Jung's." Or some nonsense like that. It's interesting when people from different parts of your life intersect, isn't it? It took me awhile before I realized I was the common denominator.
It was yet another surprise party. Thrown by my husband. For me. Me, me, me, me. ME.
I gotta tell you. I'm sick of me. And I know my friends are sick of me. I'm surprised Duane isn't sick of me - all the work he's been doing. All the subterfuge and secrets and "OK, now we can talk about the last one but we still have to keep the next one quiet."
Dawn handed me a cosmo when I got to the kitchen even though she's the one who needed it. And of course Glenn is the one who coined "Karenpalooza". Very appropriate, indeed. Seeing as how he, Dawn . . .
. . . and the Jung's have been in on every single thing. Oh the lies that have been told! It's a great relief to them all to have everything out in the open and over with. Although seriously, folks, is it possible to have too much Karenpie in your life?
Don't answer that.
So the third and final party (I don't know, should I expect something next weekend, too? Dawn? Patti? Duane? You guys still with me?) was a big bash! Oh my word the food. And the cosmos.
And another cake (note the "Happy 29th" up there - har. har.)
Friends who are really, really good at keeping secrets.
And making cosmos.
And making brownies.
Friends who bring fabulous wine.
Friends who rearrange schedules to hang out with me.
Friends I've known since high school who came all the way from California.
Friends who bring the cake.
Friends who run triathlons and still have the energy to lie I mean keep secrets.
Friends who, without fail, put up with my weirdness and inappropriate behavior and still want to come to my house and help me celebrate.
Friends who take charge and take pictures so I can remember the night because it's all a blur.
And my best friend.
How'd I get so lucky? That out of all the husbands in the universe - I got the best one?